Prince John woos Princess Jen

There once was a beautiful young woman, named Princess Jen, who grew up before her worshipping subjects. She lived in a very famous kingdom where many of the inhabitants were famous, and yet still more sought their fame and fortune. This kingdom that Princess Jen lived in was known the world over for making dreams come true, or crushing them like so many helpless ants. It depending how well you fared.

For poor Princess Jen, a real princess with a lot of money and nearly as much power, there was one dream that was broken; her happily ever after marriage. You see, while Princess Jen had married a handsome and dashing Prince, the marriage didn’t last long. The Prince, while away on business, had met another beautiful Princess, fallen in love, and ran away with her to numerous exotic locales, all the while inexplicably adopting children at each port they came to.

Our beautiful Princess was left angry, bitter, and lonely. She dated some Princes, as well as some commoners. But none of them ever really made her happy. She was looking for something more. Or, maybe it was something less. She wasn’t sure.

Now, unbeknownst to her, there was another young, dashing Prince, and he would one day, soon, want to be with her. This Prince John grew up in a secluded, but somewhat poor kingdom, and he knew that he would have to work someday to keep his kingdom. At first he was going to become an accountant and maybe marry a nice Jewish girl. But, that dream was changed as one day while out gardening, Prince John was overheard by a master music teacher singing to himself.

“Ah, that boy has the voice of an angel. I wonder if he can play instruments as well as he sings,” the music teacher thought to himself.

That day the master music teacher went to Prince John’s father, the King, and asked if he would be allowed to teach the Prince music, both singing and an instrument. The King, seeing no harm knowing the Prince’s deep desire to go into accounting and marry a nice Jewish girl, agreed. So Prince John was sent away to learn under the tutelage of the Master. It took about 2 years, and by then Prince John was a young man, but Prince John had an angelic voice, and played the guitar like no one before. All the girls swooned when they heard Prince John play, and the Prince liked the attention.

After his training, Prince John came back to his kingdom. In celebration of his return the King threw a ball that night, and Prince John played for all who attended. In attendance was a friend of the master music teacher, a big wig at a record company named Mr. Columbia. Now, Mr. Columbia was always on the lookout for young, handsome singers, and Prince John fit the bill to a ‘T’, as they say. After the Prince’s performance, Mr. Columbia found an excuse to get close to him at the hors d’oeuvre table.

“My good Prince, let me introduce myself. Mr. Columbia at your service. I’m a friend of your music teacher, Mr. Berklee, and am a big wig at a major record company. I like your voice, and your guitar playing is amazing. How would you like to be a rock star?”

“Really? Me? A rock star?” Prince John asked with an ever widening smile and a shrimp pastry between his teeth. “I’d love to be a rock star, though I prefer the blues more. Well, really any genre that gets the girls to swoon. And into bed,” John added with a couple of winks.

With laughter in his voice Mr. Columbia replied, “You’re my kind of guy. With that attitude, you’ll go places and make a ton of money.”

That night Prince John signed the recording contract, packed his most treasured belongings, including his guitar, and took some cash from the Treasury room, and headed West to Hollywood, the realm of Princess Jen.

At first, Prince John made very little money. He played small venues, and at first the audiences were smaller than the holes-in-the-wall he played. But, at least one girl swooned at each show, and another two asked to go back to his place. So, Prince John was quite happy.

Even though his audiences started small it didn’t take very long before word spread about the new singer. Mostly through the female half of the populace. Anyway, as word spread Prince John’s audiences grew, as did the venues, and soon he heard his own songs played on the radio. Prince John thought it odd to hear his own voice on the radio, but whenever a song was played and a girl was around she would swoon. So, he didn’t mind much.

One night during a show in a stadium Prince John looked out into the crowd of mostly women and spied Princess Jen. She was the most radiant, beautiful woman he’d ever seen, and he vowed from that moment on that as soon as he had her he’d stop bedding other women. Until then, well, he had a reputation to maintain.

The next day, though, Prince John couldn’t stop thinking about Princess Jen. Not knowing her name, though, he forced his assistant to find out who she was, which seemed to have required some amount of felony digging through financial statements. But, we won’t get into that, this is a love story, after all.

Once Prince John knew who she was, he found where she lived. As he drove up in his shiny Porsche he noticed a large group of well-armed guards around her stronghold. He thought that maybe they would be nice to him after they found out who he was.

“Hi, I’m Prince John, the really famous singer/songwriter/guitar player. I’d like a word with Princess Jen,” he said in his most princely, authoritative voice.

“No,” came the singular reply from a massive guard. Looking him over Prince John realized that even without the Uzi the guy could kill him easily.

“Well, then, how about you let me sing her a song or two. Right over there, under that window,” the Prince said, pointing to a large arched window in front of an overhanging balcony.

“No,” again came the singular response.

Prince John, at this point in his career not being used to being told “No”, became petulant. “What do you mean, ‘No’? Do you know who I am? I’m Prince John! All the girls love me! I bedded two, at the same time, last night. Nearly 90% of my audience is woman, and half of them swoon in delight when they hear me! Let me in to see Princess Jen or I’ll have your job!”

Unfortunately, to this day, Prince John can not tell you what happened next. In fact, the next two hours after his confrontation with Princess Jen’s guard are still a blank. All he knows is that he ended up back at his castle, undressed, in bed, with a rather large ice pack on his head.

He took the next two days to recover from the body aches and mysterious blow to the head. On the third day he devised a much better, sneakier plan. He would have his agent contact Princess Jen’s agent with a personal invitation to his place for a private performance.

Prince John’s agent did as he requested, and the next night Princess Jen appeared at his door, with the guard from the other day in tow.

“Damnit!” thought Prince John. “How the hell am I supposed to bed her with that ape standing by her all the time?”

Though his plans for later that evening looked ruined, he put on his best smile, bowed before the Princess, kissed her hand (which caused the Princess to flush crimson), and took to his private stage. After a couple of warm up strums, he began to play, all the while staring straight into the Princess’ eyes.

He played his hits, he played new material, and lastly, he made up a song, just for the Princess, right there on the spot. Princess Jen stood transfixed, never taking her eyes from the Prince’s. When the personal concert was over they retired to the dining room for a small meal.

“Guard,” called Princess Jen after dessert, “Please leave. Go back to my castle. I won’t be needing your services this evening.”

With a look of dejection the guard did as he was told, leaving the two lovers to their passions. And, what a passionate night it was. Both the Prince and Princess awoke the next morning sore with pleasure. They ate strawberries in bed, then dressed for a swim, and spent the rest of the day canoodling, frolicking, and doing other things that begin with ‘f’.

As time went on their love for each other grew, as did Prince John’s career. Princess Jen, a renowned actress and business woman, also saw her career grow. Prince John was asked to go on tour, and Princess Jen landed an Oscar-worthy role in a movie to be shot oversees.

With love and the best of intentions, they parted, vowing to remain together over the next six months of separation. And, they did try, really hard. It was made easier on them both as they utilized video chat to its fullest. Not having to type, and not having to hold a phone in one hand, allowed them to fully explore their, um, “conversations”. But, that’s a private matter. Really, really private.

Anyway, when the tours and shooting were over they returned to Hollywood to pick up where they left off. But, Prince John kept thinking back to his time on the road and how much he liked it. And, Princess Jen kept thinking back to her movie shoot and how much she missed being on set.

Lost in reverie they at first stopped speaking, then slowly stopped seeing each other as they continued to pursue new tours and new roles. One day they woke up to realize they were all alone. Princess Jen was in her castle, and Prince John was in his. They hadn’t seen or spoken to each other in weeks.

That afternoon, Princess Jen sent her assistant to Prince John’s castle with a message to meet her later that evening for drinks and dinner at a popular restaurant. Prince John, thinking it was a good thing, got dressed in his best clothes and sprayed his best cologne. He even drove his flashiest car to meet his Princess.

Once inside, though, he knew the evening would not end well. Princess Jen was already seated at the table looking quite glum.

“What’s the matter?” Prince John asked as he walked up to the table and sat down.

“What’s wrong? We haven’t seen each other in weeks, and you ask what’s wrong? Obviously, it’s not working. I want out, it’s over,” Princess Jen spouted hurriedly while staring into her overly-expensive tomato soup.

“Oh, well, um. Yeah, I see your point. But, I think we can make it work. I’ll be better, I’ll prioritize better. You know, balance,” Prince John, beginning falteringly, finished energetically with a smile on his face.

“Um, yeah,” Princess Jen began, now looking up into Prince John’s face. “Yeah, no. I’m sorry, my Prince. It’s not going to work. I’ve been down this road once before, and I won’t do it again. It’s either me or your career. And, frankly, at this point, we both have more money than we’ll ever need.”

“Oh, sure, it’s my career. What about yours?” Prince John retorted, anger seeping into his voice.

“Well, that’s my point. I don’t need the money, so I’ll let it go, too. But, only if you’re willing.” Princess Jen kept her eyes steady on Prince John’s, hope filling the beautiful blue.

Looking down, Prince John took a moment to think. “Hmmm, I’d love to say yes, my Princess, but my career is just starting and I have so much music still in me.” When he looked up all he caught was the back of Princess Jen as she nearly ran out of the restaurant.

Tired, sad, but longing to get back out on the road, Prince John finished his dinner (of very expensive steak, steamed broccoli and tomato soup) and headed back to his castle. He spent the rest of the night writing songs about Princess Jen and his heartache. Over the coming weeks he recorded them as part of a new album, which, when released, was number one on all the charts for months.

To support his new album he went on a 300 city world tour and was gone for two years. While he was gone, Princess Jen tried dating inbetween her acting gigs, but nothing ever really stuck. Although, there was that one giant of a guy, but she just liked certain aspects of his body; the man was dumb as a doornail.

When Prince John’s tour was done he headed back to his home kingdom to check in on his father. Oh, what a yelling at he received. The old King had heard about everything, his meeting Princess Jen, their excited love affair, and the breakup.

“It’s all because of you, you doofus!” the King screamed at his son. “What’s the matter with you? She’s smart, exceptionally wealthy, well loved by her people, powerful. She’s exactly the right girl for you, but you’ve gone and ruined it. How many women did you bed during your tour? How many do you love?” Prince John’s father threw at the young prince.

“Well, if you must know, it was a 300 city tour. So, not nearly as many as Gene Simmons, but close. And, no, I don’t now, nor did I ever, love any of them. But, whew! what a fun time.” With that, the King slapped the Prince upside the head.

“Screw that head of yours on straight, boy! And I don’t mean the one in your pants! Princess Jen is perfect for you, and you know it.”

Reflecting for a minute, Prince John looked at his father, straight in the eyes and declared “You’re absolutely right, father. I’ve been a complete ass. An ass that’s gotten a lot of tail, but an ass nonetheless. I’ll pack my bags, right away. I’m going to Hollywood, and I will win Princess Jen’s hand. I will marry her. Um, someday. Not right away, if that’s alright with you.”

“Certainly, my boy. Just remember, your mother and I aren’t spring chickens, anymore. We want grandkids, and soon.”

Without replying, Prince John bounded up to his room, packed his most treasured belongings, his guitar, and his American Express Black Card. He was soon on a friend’s private plane heading to Hollywood. As soon as he landed at the airport he wound his way through security, the paparazzi and the swooning fans. Once outside he hopped into a waiting limo (supposedly for some starlet, but Prince John was a better client) and headed straight to his Hollywood castle. Once there, he gave his assistant a message to be delivered to the Princess.

It took a couple of days, for Princess Jen was not in Hollywood, but spending some time on a private beach in Hawaii. But, she did receive the note. Once in her hands she read it quickly, then stopped, then started again, this time out loud.

“My dear Princess Jen,
I have been a fool. An ass. Lower than a writer (which we all know are lower than musicians). I have abused you and your love. While I’m certain you no longer believe I deserve you, I beg for your forgiveness. I am on my knees, tears in my eyes, hands clasped, begging. Begging for you to take me back. It is you I desire, I wish to be with. You that make all I’ve done worthwhile.

Yours in love forever,
Prince John

p.s.
Check your email, I’ve sent you a link to some new songs I’ve written, for you only.”

Princess Jen didn’t know what to do, but in actuality being a fan of Prince John, decided to check out the link. While the MP3’s were of low quality (Princess Jen had a discerning ear), they were heavenly to her soul. When the last track had finished playing Princess Jen felt her knees go weak and the room began to spin. Twenty minutes later Princess Jen’s assistant came across her unconscious body, sat her up and splashed cold water in her face.

“Excuse me, Princess, but you seemed to have swooned,” the pretty young girl said.

“Oh, yes, thank you,” the Princess replied, in a soft, almost weak voice. “Help me up, dear, and then have the driver pull around. I have to go see someone.”

The young assistant hurried out of the room and was back almost as quickly.

“The driver will be up front in a minute, Princess.”

“Thank you.”

Checking her makeup, and adjusting her sexiest-without-being-whorish outfit, Princess Jen got into her waiting Rolls Royce and was whisked away to Prince John’s.

Once there she calmly walked up to the gate and asked for the guard to announce her.

“Prince John, Princess Jen is here to see you,” the guard said into a microphone.

“Really? Excellent, please, send her in. And, Anthony, don’t dawdle, I know how you like to make people wait. Princess Jen can not wait,” Prince John directed.

“Yes, sir, right away sir. You may enter, ma’am.”

“Oh, don’t call me ma’am. I hate ma’am. Call me Princess,” the Princess said as she daintily picked up her skirt and walked through the opened gates.

“Yes, Princess,” the guard said wryly.

As Princess Jen approached the castle doors glittering golden in the bright Hollywood sun she spied the Prince hurrying down the stairs through the giant windows surrounding the doors. Just as she placed her foot on the first step the doors flew open, and before her stood Prince John, panting.

“My love, my dearest, my everything! You’ve come!”

“Of course. How could I not? I love you, and I’ve missed you.”

Coming together, they embraced, then kissed, then really kissed. A couple of minutes of heavy fondling later, all nicely captured by the paparazzi, they flew inside, slamming the doors shut behind them.

Now, legend has it that at this meeting of the two love birds sounds of passion never heard before bounced and danced through the foothills of Los Angeles, putting the entire city into a loving mood.

It was two days later that the lovers emerged announcing their engagement. They looked happy, but strangely worn, like they’d been working at something requiring a lot of physical exertion for almost 48 hours straight.

The wedding day was set, but kept secret. Everything about the wedding was kept secret as they tried to avoid the paparazzi. It almost worked, but their guests still had to contend with helicopters flying overhead and paid Peeping Toms in trees.

While Prince John was furious that the wedding plans had leaked out, Princess Jen convinced him that they could use it to their advantage. They would get a world famous photographer to take their wedding photos, guaranteeing intimate, detailed shots, and sell that to the papers and tabloids.

The plan worked wonderfully, and brought them so much money they bought an island in the South Pacific and lived happily ever after. Well, not counting the occasional fight, movie and limited tour, for neither could ever really retire. But, overall, they were happy. More than content, but less than ecstatic. Well, that’s really fully honest. There were moments of ecstasy, but I suppose those were really private moments. Oh, and yes, there were grandkids. Sort of. If you count a couple of cats.

So, I suppose while the Prince and Princess were happy (and, occasionally ecstatic), Prince John’s parents were less than thrilled. You know, about the lack of grandkids.

But, most importantly, in the end everyone got on quite well.

New story coming

Okayy, so I've got a Friday the 13th gift for you all. A new fairy tale. I'll be posting it up in a few minutes, but it has no pictures. Maybe next week I'll find some good artwork to add. Until then, enjoy, and have a great weekend.

- Dick

Purchase Page Update

I realized late yesterday, about the time I was putting my head down on the pillow, that I hadn’t provided a preview of the stories available for purchase. For some reason it hadn’t occurred to me that many of you may either not have remembered the stories or even had the opportunity to read them.

Well, I’ve corrected the problem. There are now five links on the Purchase page, the first being a sample image of what the PDF will look like when you receive it, the last four being previews, or snippets, of the Tales for sale. You can also click the thumbnail below to see what the PDF looks like.





Of course, this is all explained on the Purchase page, so please pardon my redundancy.

Anyway, I apologize as I have not yet uploaded a new Tale. This week has been full of the unexpected and I haven’t even had the chance to complete it. Well, to be truthful, I haven’t even gotten beyond the outline stage.

Regardless, I do intend to get the story up, either by tomorrow or early next week. No promises, though. I hate it when I don’t keep my promises.

I leave you now, dear reader. It’s been a busy day and I’m still not showered.

I hope your day is going well, and clean.

Dick

Fairy Tales ready for Purchase

Okay, while it was a pain to get done, it is done. You can now go to my new Purchase page (in case you missed the link above) and purchase four fairy tales: The Ogre's Tale, The Boy Who Would Be King, Judy, the Lesbian, and Judy and Jessica have a Baby. Each tale is only $1.25 and the purchase is done through Paypal. Be sure that during the checkout process you give me a legit email address, otherwise you're nicely laid out PDF will end up in some sort of digital black hole.

Please note that when tales go up for sale they come down off the blog (they are deleted). Also, the PDFs do not contain any artwork. Sorry about that, but getting this permission and that permission and then working out deals with each artist would have been more work than it's worth.

Well, I look forward to your feedback and hope you enjoy.

- Dick

p.s.

Yes, I am still working on a couple of new stories. Getting this online store up took more time and planning than I had estimated. I was also fiddling a bit with the blog layout. I'm still not entirely thrilled with it, but dealing with the layout seems more like a project for another time than right now.

Working on new stories and a move

Hey, loyal readers. Wow, it's been almost 2 months since I've put anything up here. I'm really sorry for the silence and (I'll be honest) the sporadic, at best, new story postings since early September.

All I can offer in the way of an explanation is that Life has a way of interfering with what you'd really rather be doing. Unfortunately, while I really wish I could tell you otherwise, I have no idea when Life's going to hand back some semblance of Free Will to me. Right now it's very much "Hang on, it's gonna be a bumpy ride! And don't forget to drop trou; there's gonna be no lube!"

Still, I do have about 2 or 3 stories percolating in my wee brain, even have outlines written (not counting a couple of stories, non-fairy tale, I began almost a year ago, plus a half dozen or so fairy tale story ideas that have been sitting on my hard drive for the last 8 months or so). But, as I am one who likes to always bite off more than he can chew (which works great with anything chocolate, you just let sit in your mouth and melt; the pleasure of it all lasts longer that way) I'm also going to be working on moving the blog over to WordPress. There are some additions and changes I'd like to make and WordPress is a bit more open than Blogger regarding how the site is arranged.

Once I know all the details I will be sure to pass them right on to you. Most likely the changeover will take some time, so please don't worry that I went off and changed the RSS feed and URL and that's why there are no new stories. Trust me, the most likely reason there'll be no new stories posted with anything resembling regularity (eat your Wheaties!) is Life. It seems to hate me, though I don't know what I did to It.

Looking toward to the future and wishing you all the best.

Dick